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Parachutes & Sport Flying
RULES OF
THE AIR
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick
back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way
back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there
wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot
cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the
sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is
one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of
them yourself. 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full
power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be
another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report
that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of
take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no
one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick
is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round
and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things
are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of
miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to
lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually
comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as
possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not
subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway
behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however
A student was having difficulty with his
landings. Seems like he would bounce it in every time. However, on the first
night lesson, the student greased in all of his landings. Puzzled, the
instructor asked, "How are you doing that? You have so much trouble during the
day?" The student replied, "It's easy, I continue the approach until you stiffen
up, then I just pull back."
A student pilot had an engine failure one day.
He successfully force landed, and found his way to a 'phone to call the club
house. He gave his position to his instructor, who said he would pop straight
out in one of the club's aircraft to pick him up. The instructor found the
downed student - parked in a rather small looking field. "Hmmm, if he can get in
there, so can I!". He performed a text book short field landing, and parked
extremely neatly in the hedge at the far end of the field.
On extricating himself from the brambles, he asked the student how on earth he
had managed to land in such a confined space. "Oh, I didn't - I landed in that
big field over there and pushed the 'plane in here to give you more room!"
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